gringo confessions

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ ⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

 Matt. 25:34-45

The other night I was coming home from a friend’s house, it was quite late and raining.  I had on my northface down jacket and a beanie.  This was day four of rain here in La Plata… so its safe to say things were pretty wet.  As I came around the corner I was stopped by a small voice coming from under a small canopy of one of the store fronts.  It was a little boy probably 12 years old.  He wasn’t wet, but only had on a sweatshirt... He simply asked me if I had an extra jacket in my house that he could have because he was cold.  It was evident he spent his days and probably most nights on the streets or elsewhere that weren’t very warm. 
Like I said, I was wearing my nice goose down Northface Jacket (that my sister had given me for a graduation gift), and a friends hooded sweatshirt underneath.  When he asked me this I told him I didn’t live close, but that I would look for him tomorrow when I returned to the plaza with a different jacket I had back at my house.  I gave him the beanie I had in my pocket, and bid him farewell.  He was overjoyed by the gift of the beanie which made me feel ok about the situation… in fact I felt like I had done something good. 
Looking back, it makes me ill to see the way I responded to him… he was only a child, a cold one at that and I only gave him a beanie.  The whole time I was thinking, maybe I should just give him my jacket… but I was holding onto it so tightly.  It was in fact a gift from my sister… and I didn’t have another warm jacket like this down here.  Every excuse came to mind for me to keep my jacket for myself.  Not only did I not give him my jacket, but I didn’t ask why he was out in the rain, his name, or anything else.  I was cold and wet and simply wanted to get home.  

I am the person I despise!  I am the person I speak out against…

I have spoken of social justice and taking care of the least of these for how long now and the opportunity comes when Jesus himself asks me for my jacket because he is cold… and what do I do?  I don’t give it to him.  I freeze (or rather let him freeze) and I hold on to it because its my favorite jacket. 
I have been blessed with more than enough, too much in fact.  I have the resources to purchase another jacket without a problem.  It wasn’t even mine to begin with… it was a gift and I wasn’t able to release it from grasp in order to help another in need.
It scares me to think I couldn’t let go of this little material object.  If I wasn’t willing to let this go, what other things am I holding on to, too tightly?  I couldn’t help but think about James chapter 4 after this happened… and what it truly means to know the good you should do and not do it.

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

James 4:17

I am not writing this to feel better about what i didnt do, or because i am overwhelmed with guilt and shame... but rather as an event that has forced me to continue to look into who i am.  It has forced me to take a look into the things i hold on to and the things i don't want to sacrifice.  I understand it's not always the best thing to give people what they ask for... but we have all had these moments when we know what is right and don't do it.  I am not pointing a finger, but rather asking the question... what are you holding on to so tightly that you aren't willing to give it up?  

It is a constant process of being chipped and reshaped in order to see outside of ourselves.  I challenge us to look outside of ourselves today and just see what happens.  I pray that our eyes would be open and that we would begin to see the world through the eyes of Jesus...  Let this be our prayer.